time well spent

when i went to see Torsten last Thursday he advised me to "take it easy and relax". as if i needed to be told to do that - i happen to be an expert at Taking It Easy, Relaxing and Just Chilling Out. however, never being one to ignore good advice (or a chance to chill) when it's handed to me, i've been doing a whole lot of Taking It Easy this week.

on Monday i defied gravity at Alton Towers, where the wild rides were a lot less terrifying than they looked, and the mild rides were more queasifying than i expected. my favourite ride was Air, the most comfortable roller coaster i've ever been on.

the rest of the week was spent cleaning, running errands, reading abandoned books, and also, catching up on the latest movies.

on Tuesday, after my meeting with David at noon, i found myself wandering aimlessly around the city and ended up in FACT, where i watched The Interpreter. it's quite a good watch - and wasn't one of those movies where a good plot, which would have been perfectly fine on its own, was spoiled by a romance between the lead characters. also, it was (apparently) filmed in the UN Headquarters, which is quite a nice building. featured some nice aerial shots, and one riverview shot too. i don't know much about the architect, Wallace Harrison, and to be honest, i didn't really know what the UN Headquarters looked like before this movie. but when i saw it i thought that it sort of looked like one of Oscar Niemeyer's buildings; and after a bit of Googling, turns out he was one of the designers. (that's right. hello, i'm an archi-geek)

on Wednesday i went to see The Wedding Date, which, unfortunately, goes right along with this one on my list of Movies That I Had More Or Less High Expectations For, But Disappointed Me Terribly. there was a nice story behind it, kind of like Pretty Woman the other way round. but it fell victim to really bad editing, which i would have excused seeing as how it was a book adaptation, but if they managed to do justice to Bridget Jones's Diary (the first one) why not this ? although, yum !

yesterday, i learned the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything at The Hitchhiker's Guide, which started off a little slow, but turned out to be okay-ish towards the end. another book adaptation, which i guess is pretty hard to do without having the movie seem skippish. i haven't read the series myself, but i'm pretty sure that there must be more to the characters and their back-stories than was portrayed in the movie.

today i have some errands to run, so there'll be no movie-watching. but next week i'm planning to catch Hitch, and see just what all the hype's been about, or if it was worth hyping on. stay tuned !

heh. Julia just came to my room. the lift is still out of order (has been so since yesterday morning) ! this is when i regret being on the highest floor of the building, but when i look out the window and see this, i figure it's worth it.

now playing : Love by Rosey from the Bridget Jones's Diary soundtrack

a slow, lazy spring day

this has been curing me of my boredom for the past couple of days. i'm probably one of the v few people left who hasn't seen Happy Tree Friends, but now that i have, i wish there were more episodes! i cleaned my room tonight. threw out around 7 bags of trash, put all my portfolio bags back in their spot underneath the desk, (more or less) cleared the desk itself, and hoovered. it's been a long, long time since i last saw this much floor in my room (except back when i moved in). everything (well, almost everything) looks really neat and ordered. i just hope that i'll be able to keep this tidiness up, because the room really does look much nicer without 2 feet of clutter. also, all this cleaning and tidying has pretty much worn me out, so this is also a good chance to get my sleeping rhythm back to normal again. so here's to going to bed and waking up with everyone else in the same time-zone!

dulu, mungkin pernah.

i just came from one of my dearest and most complicated Nadz's (who, true to her wabba-feshness, has given her blog a fresh new look). she went through a PTD assessment recently, for which she had to answer a pscyh questionaire. one of the questions was "Anda sesekali terasa gembira tanpa sebab?" which, to those of you who lack eloquence in Malay, is "have you ever felt happy for no obvious reason". Nadia was my roommate when i was doing my A's in KTJ, a school strategically located in The Middle of Nowhere (strategic, as in "there's no where else to run"). i haven't met her in ages, but thanks to the wonders of e-mail and now, Blogger, we've managed to keep in touch aplenty. i remember the sound of her laugh - loud and high-pitched and strong - a laugh that came right from the belly. she'd put her whole body into it; slapping the table (or anyone within slapping distance), clutching her stomach, stomping her feet. and her laugh was infectious! you cannot listen to her laugh, and not feel like laughing yourself, no matter what the reason, which automatically puts her on the list of My Top 5 Joy Mentors. Nads answered "ya" to her question (see all her questions / answers / explanations here). my answer is up there, in the title of this post : i probably have (loosely translated). although i can't remember the last time i merasa gembira tanpa sebab. honestly, sometimes i even find myself getting annoyed at people who are happy all the time. i'd like to think that they're just putting up an act; that they're acting happy to convince the rest of the world, and themselves at the same time, that they really are happy. and i'd like to think that when they say that things are "Great!" and they start telling me about every positive thing that's happening in their lives, that they're actually leaving out the parts where they "feel hopeless, frustrated, miserable, angry, disappointed, worried, sad". that things are actually rather shitty, that they don't know what to do, that they wish that they could, but they'd rather not talk about it.

but hell, if it's not an act, i'd love to know their secret (Nadz's is, apparently, the weather).

don't get me wrong; i'm hardly ever not a dramaqueen, or a cynic, or a miseryphile. i don't care very much for people who choose to be sarcastic and cynical all the time, and refuse to see the good in things (although i reserve my right to be bitingly trenchant at times). i'm all for all things rosy. i'm all for peachiness. in fact, i declare right now to the universe, karma, God, and all relevant parties, that i am open, available, ready to accept all invitations to a life filled with hope, love, optimism, and happy endings (on condition that i'm still allowed to hate Britney Spears and boybands).

now playing : Never There by Cake from Prolonging the Magic

dear Sandra Bullock,

oh. my. God. what have you done ? i loved you in this and this. and even this wasn't all that bad either (actually i might have been just watching it for Hugh Grant). but oh, my. this was just plain disappointing. which caught me by surprise, because i enjoyed the first one. i liked FBI Agent Gracie Hart. she was so cute, with her frumpy hair, and her snorty laugh. and i loved how Michael Caine cracked his gay stylist whip and va-va-voomed Gracie into Miss America Miss contestant Miss Gracie Lou Freebush. and who can help but love the idea of a Murphy-Brown-turned-evil ? and Benjamin Bratt ? nevermind that he reminded me of one of my studio tutors, but wasn't he the yum ? and that little line Gracie sang to him : "you think i'm pretty, you want to kiss me, love me and marry me". i loved it ! that, Sandy, was pure chick-flick entertainment.

but oh, my.

where do i begin, with a movie where wrong follows wrong ? okay. first, what was with the attitude ? Grace Hart becomes yellow-polyester-wearing fashionista who "cares about herself so that other people will care about her" because her boyfriend dumped her ? and Regina King ? tell me she's actually a man acting as a very-angry-woman. Diedrich Bader doesn't even come close to being a Michael Caine (can anyone say redundant character, or Miss Congeniality 1 all over again ?) but really, Sandy, you looked like you were just in this film for a ride, because you had nothing better to do on a Sunday afternoon. "hmm. what to do today. oh, i know, i'll just make a sequel to that really famous film i made a little while back ! we'll use a similar plot, similar characters, just change the actors ! no one will ever notice !"

next time you're bored on a Sunday, do what i do : grab a book, head down to Starbucks for a cup of Sunday coffee, or to Nando's for a bowl of Sunday caesar chicken salad. and stop making movies as bad as the one i just spent £4.40 on. because that could've bought me dinner (almost).

sincerely,
a (for now) fan

11 floors... not that high ?

i can never leave this apartment again. at least, not through the main (and only) door. and here's why : ever since the fob-scanning thingy at the main entrance broke down, the management's posted a doorman at the front door of my building, although the fob-scanning thingy is now working. i thought it was pretty cool, having a doorman in the building. i'd pretend i lived in a swanky, posh apartment. i imagined the doorman wearing a red waistcoat and a hat, instead of his dark blue Unite jacket. and he's a pretty friendly guy (as doormen should be). he says "Good morning" with a smile when i leave the building, and asks "Y'alright?" in that Liverpool way when i get back. well this afternoon, when i got back from my crit (more on that later), he started talking to me, and i talked back, not wanting to seem rude. he had a friend with him, who's also studying Architecture (like me) so i talked to him too. next thing you know, he's asking for my number. i quickly muttered that i "had to go", and practically ran up the stairs.

now i'm stranded in my flat, thinking how many bedsheets i'd have to tie together to make a rope long enough for me to scale down the building with. and realising that even if i Did climb out of my window, i'd still have to get out of the building through the main entrance. hmm... maybe if i tie even more bedsheets, and then climbed down the other side of the building...

and i'm supposed to catch Miss Congeniality at Odeon in 15 minutes !

so. on my crit. i had a talk with my StudioCo-ordinator about my Design Thesis, and we both agreed that i won't be able to produce anything worth submitting within a month's time. so i'm suspending my studies till September, which means that i'll be graduating at least 3 months later than the rest of my course, which is actually an idea i'd been toying with for the past few weeks now. plus, i barely passed my Dissertation, and am not at all pleased with what i came up with last semester, and this will be a chance for me to brush that up as well.

i still need to talk to my parents about it, but i don't think there'll be much problem there. they're usually quite supportive of whatever i decide to do, "as long as i graduate", as my mum puts it. i'm pretty sure that i'm making the right decision here; although it means 3 more months than i'd rather spend on this course, i think my Thesis and Dissertation both deserve the extra effort.

now... time to muster up nerves of steel as i head downstairs, past TheDoorman, and off to my movie ! this is one of those times where i wish i had a pair of big googly sunglasses and a big floppy hat.

currently pt. ii

listening to Free Man In Paris by Joni Mitchell, from her Court and Spark album.
waiting for my hair to dry, so i can go to bed. why not blow-dry it, you ask ? because it's 4.30am, the walls are paper-thin, and my flat-mates are asleep.
wondering how much less i can blog about now that more people i know are finding out about this site.
worrying about redemption crit on Tuesday morning, 31 hours from now.
pissed at Joshua, for being pushy and agressive. did he not listen to himself on Friday ?
annoyed at the boiler. it's not working as well as it used to before the maintenance man came over to "fix" it.
wishing that time would just suspend itself, so that i'd have a few more days to work on my presentation for Tuesday's crit.
glad that i met Liza at Heather's party on Saturday, a lively, entertaining girl who's really into her guitars (all three of them) and her bongos.
still sick. although the headache's gone (most-times anyway). there still is a frog living in my throat, and my nose is blocked half the time. but my voice has taken on a sickly, stuffed, half-raspy quality that i'm starting to like a little...

*insert witty phrase*

i'm sick. sick, sick, sick. my head is heavy. my hair hurts. i now know what they mean when they say "my throat feels like sandpaper". my skin hurts. i'm tired, i'm cold, and i'm cranky. all i want to do right now is crawl into bed and be by my ownsome.

and i have So Much Work To Do by 11am on Tuesday, which is when i get to redeem myself and make up for yesterday's Godawful crit.

really, this bug of mine has the worst timing ever.

frankly

unacceptable. deeply concerned. will fail. have to understand. speak to me. too late. unacceptable.

it's been a less than pleasant day.

i'm starting to get a little fond of this country

guess how easy it was to replace my cellphone. easier than putting on a tampon, that's how !

had a chat with my flatmate when i got back on Saturday night (or Sunday morning, depending), and she told me how her friend lost his phone, and had to pay for GBP200 worth of phone calls to Romania. paranoia finally set in while i was in the middle of an e-mail to Mel and i found myself, at 5am, knocking on the door to the general office of my apartment, asking if i could borrow their phone to make an emergency phonecall to Voda (it was either that, or walk down to the city to find a payphone). so got my SIMcard barred, and Sunday afternoon i made a police report. all the policeman asked me was : where it happened, what time, and how it happened (spared PC Dunn all unnecessary details). got the Incident Number, which was all i needed to make the claim, and half an hour later, at the Vodafone shop, i got me a brand-new SIMcard, and a brand-new SonyEricsson S700i (the sequel) ! and all this on a Sunday ! i'm still pleasantly amazed...

i should lose my phone more often, and claim insurance, especially when it's been dropped countless times, had its screen scratched, or if i just suddenly decide that it's starting to look old.

now playing : Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something. i love this song... reminds me of high school !

a word of advice...

boys and girls, some words of wisdom...

slightly sozzled self + seemingly attractive boy who claims to be doctor = loss of a perfectly fabulous phone

be warned.

what ?

Julia told me this evening (as in Friday) that it snowed earlier today. it's April ! why is it still snowing ?! pink strappy sandals. in closet. waiting to be worn.

now playing : Steal My Kisses by Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals from Live From Mars

currently

drinking a warm cup of mocha. made with Kenco coffee, and Milo. forget all that posh-sounding Cadbury bullshit, Milo is the only chocolate-y thing to use when making mocha.
listening to In My Bed by Amy Winehouse, from her Frank album. if you ignore her lyrics, she's not all that bad.
reading the archives of miss shivery timbers. as well as having a cool name and being a good writer, she's also a musician. check out her songs here.
feeling languidly lazy.
wondering what i'll be doing later tonight.
thinking that i probably should stay up working, since i've already wasted a whole day (or seven) doing nothing resembling work.
just remembered that i forgot to call the salon to make my hair appointment for tomorrow.
wishing everyone a great weekend !

feeling a lil' bit homesick

it was raining about 5 minutes ago. i sat here at my desk, watching the rain trickle down my window, feeling a bit frustrated. i thought about how mild and unexciting things seem here. how it doesn't even rain properly. i miss a good thunderstorm. i miss the way a heavy downpour smells. i miss hearing the crash of thunder, and the crack of lightning. and the sound of the wind. and how the rain beats down on the roof. how the windows rattle and the doors slam from the strong wind. and having to raise my voice to speak over all of that.

you know how they say that British people are really bland ? i think it's because of the weather. the weather here doesn't really make you feel like doing anything exciting. there are never extremes, just so-so days, so-so food, so-so buildings.

the grey clouds are just starting to part. it's still drizzling a little bit, but the sun's shining through, and the sky behind the clouds is the most gorgeous shade of blue. my room faces the docks, and the water's all shimmery. seagulls are flying past my window, and the city's got that fresh, clean, after-the-rain look.

as much as i miss the extremes of tropical weather, there are definitely things about England that i'm going to miss just as much.

i wish i had a Colorform wall

there is a deep, dark fear inside me right now. i fear that a week from now, i'll still be in this same, exact position, writing things like this or this, wallowing in self-pity and feeling stabbing pains of extreme panic. i fear that a week from now, i'll have to fabricate another reason why i wasn't able to present yet again, and i know that by then my tutor won't buy it anymore, that is assuming that he's actually believed me the past two times. i fear that what i've been telling my friends all this while will actually come true. that the pessimism that i maintain, in hopes of things ending up way better than i expect, will prove itself and the worst-case-scenarios that i keep imagining will actually happen.

my muse has left me. after four-and-a-half years, my little creative mind has decided to pack itself up and hide away. it's got perfect timing too. i'm in the middle of the most important project i've ever had to do. and i can't come up with anything.

help.