me, the psychic premonitress

first, this is what i went for last night at the Lowry in Manchester. had a great laugh. the boys had such awesome bodies i felt incredibly ashamed to be a real lady who couldn't even look half as good as they do! but hey, at least i come fully equipped, eh? more pictures from the show here.

have you heard about the freak twister that hit Birmingham? i totally swear on my favourite pet's grave that this is true, but last week i actually had a dream about twisters! i was in my old Grand Central room with my sister (i'm totally not stalking her, honestly) and Lili Marleen. why i had a dream about a German war bride, ask my subconscious, because i have no idea. the Lili Marleen in my dream was a big lady, who looked like one of those stereotypical opera singers. she had her hair up in a bun, too much make-up, and was wearing a black dress. anyway, the three of us were in my room, watching twisters go by. the sky was really dark outside, and there was a big river next to the apartment building, with a billboard over it, although i can't remember what it was advertising. twister after twister skipped (yes, skipped) across the river, getting closer and closer to my window, but bypassing it everytime. they came from afar, destroying everything in their path, but everytime just missing us. i felt like we were in a really powerful forcefield. that was the coolest dream i've had in a while. then a few days later i heard about the twister in Birmingham! coincidence? or powers of the supernatural kind that have been magically bestowed on me?

three guesses as to where i am today. i'm seeing this today. really, getting internet access at a Picturehouse is not a good idea. all these movies are just horrible distractions!

have great weekends everyone!

rainy day post

it's a rainy summer's day here and no better place to spend it than at the FACT's Rear Window Cafe. waiting for this show to start. if you click on the link you'll see what it's about, and i'll be watching it, claiming design research, as i'm designing a contemporary music centre for my design thesis, and this movie is about contemporary music. well, any excuse to lax is good enough for me.

meanwhile, i just read my sister's blog (yes, all three posts), and i really hope she keeps this blogging up! it's the most i've heard from her, and the deepest that i've heard off her, and it's really opening my eyes to the grown-up person that she's turning out to be. i guess at this point it would do well to point out that my sister and i aren't as close as some others. we hated each other when we were growing up, we'd find excuses to not only not be in the same room with each other, but not even be on the same floor. i say hate, but i mean hate in the loosest sense possible, because although she hated me for picking on her, and i hated her for irritating the guts out of me, there was a sisterly bond between us, as in, if i were crossing the road with her and a huge bus came out of nowhere racing in my direction and then smashed me to pieces, i'm sure she would have cried at my funeral. at least my mum would have made sure of that.

kidding aside, though, we've grown closer over the years, perhaps mostly because most of that time i was at least a 2-hour plane ride away. so maybe in our case, absence does indeed make us grow more fond of each other. we're still not as close as i'd like, for example i thought all this while that she and her boyfriend were just having a bit of fun, but she seems to really, really like him. and with all the non-relationships that i've been having of late, maybe it's time i took a bit of a lesson from her.

verging off on a tangent, though, i just looked up to people watch in between sentences, and i'm the only person in this cafe with a non-Apple laptop! guy on my right has a 14-inch iBook, guy on my left has 14-inch PowerBook, and i can see another 3 iBooks in front of me! i'm oozing with jealousy and scheming grand theft in my head.

actually with that i'm going to leave you here. not to commit larceny, but to buy my ticket and another cappuccino to take into the Box.

short one...

typing as fast as i possibly can, because my laptop battery is going to give out any minute now. just a short one to say a little something about a new link i've put up under the "orang sekampung" category. it's my sister's! i had no idea that she had a blog, until i checked out my Friendster updates. she doesn't know about my little corner on the worldwideweb, so shh! although if she checks blogstats like i do, she may soon find out! i'd love to ramble on about my baby sister and the odd relationship that we share, but i'm afraid my screen will just go blank right in the middle and i'd lose the entire post, so we'll so that some other time, m'kay? oh, and a little shoutout to Miss Surwira to say that i just read your e-mail. thanks, and as you can see, i'm ay-okay.

have a great one, everybody!

wicked hangover weekend

there was another round of attempted bombings in London on Thursday, a man who was suspected of being a bomber was shot and killed on Friday (he turned out to be someone who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time), and a bomb was found on a train on Saturday. so the universe had a great time messing with my nerves before the trip, and all throughout. having said that, though, i had a fabulous weekend anyway, and i'll let the photos speak for themselves. the atmosphere in London was great. granted, i didn't spend much time in the city centre itself, but the fact that the tubes were full of people, as were the busses, speaks volumes as to how Londoners are able to just pick themselves up and carry on with life.

anyway, now i'm back to reality, and back to the ton of work that i have. i haven't even checked my e-mail in days! (despite having time to upload and organise pictures, and update the blog!) wish that there were more hours in a day, but then again everyone does, right? watch this space, people. stress levels are rising, and posts may get more desperate and morbid.

bits and pieces of everything

i'm sitting in The Bar at Fact, where i've been getting my "regular" WiFi access for the past 2 days. it's free, there are good drinks, and when i'm feeling bored i can just hop into the cinema for a movie. today, Batman Begins is playing, as is War of the Worlds, and some independent film from Spain about a man and his dog. oh, and Madagascar is showing too! have you seen that? it's really funny, and slightly disturbing, but good fun, overall. there's also an exhibition called the Agony and the Ecstasy on, which features horrific pieces, and explores how people react to them. i actually went to see this last week (i spend a lot of time here, and probably will be spending a lot more time here, since it has free WiFi) and made friends with the exhibition guide, who, since there weren't many people at the show, had a lot of free time on her hands. we chatted about the exhibition, and this week she passed me her notes on the artists, and the pieces. there is also a rather drunk man sitting at the next table, who has had one too many glasses of wine. he chuckles every now and then (well actually more often than that), rants quietly about something in English, then in French, probably because there's a French CD playing now.

it's great having internet at home, but this is way more interesting.

i'm going to London a week from today. Friday night i'll be attending a 70's / 80's themed party that a friend of a friend is throwing, and on Saturday we'll be going for a 10-hour gig at the park. i'm blurry on the details, because i've left all the buying of tickets / arrangements to her, and i'm just going along for the ride. Sunday i'm hoping to catch this exhibition at the Tate Modern. so this time next week i'll be on a London-bound train for what's looking to be a fabulous weekend! i haven't told my parents yet, partly because all plans were just finalised today, but mostly (well, all) because i know they'll just freak out about how unsafe it is. i don't plan to tell them. so, dear blog-readers, please pray that my secret excursion goes smoothly, and that no crazy terrorists decide to blow up any more tubes / busses / cabs / clubs, because i don't want to have my parents go "i told you so" at my funeral.

oh, and because i just overheard someone mentioning this, how stoked am i about the new Harry Potter book that's coming out tomorrow? ecstatic! i pre-ordered my copy at Waterstone's last month, so i'll be picking mine up tomorrow, and not queueing up with hundreds of others for the release at midnight tonight, because i'm not that much of a geek.

so this weekend's looking to be pretty great too. with my brand-new story book (which i have a feeling will distract me from the rest of life) and my friend Lauren's baby shower this Sunday! i'm especially excited for her, because i remember how badly she's wanted this baby. and if that little girl ever makes life hell for her mum (though i'm sure she won't, with a cool mum like Lauren's going to be) i'll tell her all about the tears shed, and the prayers prayed, all for her to come to be.

have great weekends everyone!

the second meme

Nadz tagged me with this meme, which i shall try to answer as fast as i can, before the battery in my laptop gives out.

myself
i think about myself a lot. i'm obsessed with me. how do i look? what do i feel? what am i like? what do other people think of me? and yet, when asked to describe myself, i'm at a blank. what to say? some people have told me (or wrote in my Friendster testimonial) that i'm calm when faced with any situation and i never panic. i guess i could say that's true. i am unnaturally calm, even in the most dire situations, but i think that that's probably because i'm not a very expressive person either. i internalise a lot of my feelings, especially negative ones. that's probably self-detrimental but that's the only way i know how to get through things. my mum finds it incredibly frustrating to try to figure me out and usually concludes that i just go through life in an irritatingly blasé manner. oh well, when i start therapy, which i undoubtedly need, i'll let you know what my therapist thinks, m'kay? i do know this, though... i'm built with lots and lots of layers, and most of the time i assume that nobody "knows the real me", but then someone comes and says something and i go "well how did you know that i'd do/say/think that?" and i'm pleasantly surprised... most times.

wisdom
yesterday someone i know told me that i struck her as someone who "adapts well to change". which, i have to admit, is true. the only thing i hate about moving is the packing / unpacking. the settling has always been easy. whether that's because i am wise, or because of my "go with the flow" nature, i don't know. but hey, i'm in the mood for some self-praise so wise i am.

regrets
oh, so many. so very many. but mostly little things. some of them little things that accumulate to become a big thing that affect my life in a big way. like that packet of Doritos i had this morning watching Trisha, or going to bed early last night instead of working. or not getting up early enough. or those days that i missed gym. healthy regrets, but unhealthy, in that all i can do is reflect on them. reflect, promise to change, then don't.

family
small. just me, my baby sister, mum and dad. we never were big on family gatherings, so i don't know my cousins as well as i'd like (not) to. also my mum's half of the family lives all around the world, so i have cousins whom i've only seen once, or not at all. being just the four of us, you'd think that we're all close-knit and everything, and that sometimes is the case, but not always. they're, what, 6000 miles? away from me now, and i do miss them, but probably not as much as i should.

film
i love the movies. love love love them. to list all the movies i enjoy watching would take forever, and my "battery low" warnings are starting to flash so i'll leave that list for another day. one thing i do enjoy, though, is going to the movies, alone. some people think it's weird, but i like running off to the cinema whenever i feel like it, stopping on the way at Starbucks for an iced peppermint mocha (my must-have cinema snack), and enjoying the movie all on my own. and i especially love it when it's a weekday, and i have the entire cinema (almost) all to myself.

faith
i'll save the endless ramble i have on this for another day.

friends
sadly, they come and go. but i guess that's life. you just roll with the punches, go with the flow, take them as they come. and trust. no. one.

ideas
my profession requires me to have an "active imagination" and be "deadly creative", so i hope i have lots and lots and lots of ideas to come yet!

and now, because the library's closing in 25 minutes, and i have no idea how much longer my battery can last (but i'm guessing it's not long) i'll end this post by saying, CONGRATULATIONS to Miss Nadz on her up-coming engagement! i hope everything goes well, not only with the ceremony, but everything else too! i WILL be at your wedding, even if i have to sell all my clothes to buy me a plane ticket!!

oh, and i will now tag Everyone with this meme. don't be shy, now, you know how juicy these memes are! just leave your link in my box. my comment box.

caught!!

remember how i said at first that i'd found the gem of all gems, the treasure seeked high and low, the cointreau in a liqueor chocolate, the Baileys-soaked sponge cake at the bottom of the tiramisu, i.e. the unsecured wireless internet connection that i tapped from? my deed has caught up with me and now i suffer again, with internet-less living. or, the guy who owns the wireless connection found out how to block internet-stealers from tapping his WiFi. damn the tech-savvy friends who taught him how to do it! damn the internet providers for teaching him how to secure his line! damn it, let me steal your internet you bastard!! i can't live like this! i can't live, not being able to check my e-mail every two hours, not being able to check for updates on the Big Brother website, not being able to blog whenever i want to!

if you don't hear from me within the week, it would be because i have died from boredom.

you will fail

hear, hear.

London mayor Ken Livingstone's address to the fucktarded terrorists, posted by Monica.

that naked shet? so tempted right now...

a warm bath, no matter how calm and relaxing, is a bad, bad idea on an exceptionally warm summer's night. the only thing stopping me from naked-blogging is the fact that the window is open, and i live on the ground floor, (almost) facing the main road. no need to flash Liverpool at 1:30am, i think.

i had a gluttonous weekend, which consisted of me eating lots and lots of food. Saturday night, Idzam & Lina came over for dinner. i cooked (yes, cooked - on and actual stove and everything!) chilli, Idzam brought a pie, and for dessert i made trifle (i was so Nigella Lawson this weekend), and Lina made some black rice pudding soup thing. after pigging out so much i spent most of today doing just about nothing, and this evening i went with Idzam & Lina (again) to see Madagascar, which i enjoyed. it was right funny, and after the few horrible days that have gone by, i sure needed a good laugh. after the movie, we had pizza for dinner. more eating. came back to my place, and ate left-over chilli while watching Big Brother.

yes, you read right - Big Brother. i am just a little bit embarassed to be so completely hooked on a reality show as silly as this, but i can't help it! it's a reality show, where the contestants don't have to do anything but just live with a group of people! it's basically what all the rest of us do everyday, and it's called co-existing with other human beings, and we don't get £100,000 if we manage not to kill everyone else (or ourselves) in the process. i do feel sorry for them, though, because i just can't imagine being in a place where everything i say and do is recorded, watched, analysed by and televised to the entire country. i was speaking to a German friend of mind a few weeks ago, who told me that this TV concept of Big Brother began in Germany, and apparently their Big Brother lasts for a year, instead of 20-odd weeks in the UK. a year. imagine being detached from family, friends, the world, for a Year. it'd be like Blast From The Past when they get out. speaking of which, the people in the Big Brother house currently don't even have a clue about what happened on Thursday. i don't know whether to be happy for them, or not.

anyway, to anyone who may be following the show, who do you reckon will win? my favourite housemate is Kemal, but i reckon Anthony stands a pretty high chance of winning.

oh, God, the shame, the shame. tomorrow, i'll write about serious stuff. like politics, and making poverty history. and stuff. 'cos i'm all into the intellectual. really. don't let the Big Brother thing fool ya. really.

on a day like today

i woke up early this morning, quite an accomplishment. felt quite proud of myself as i arrived at the gym, right on time for my 10:30 appoinment with Matt. he was standing by the cycles, eyes fixed on the TV. explosions in central London. six tube stations bombed, one bus. going through my new (gruelling) program later, the gym was deadly silent. there were about five other people there this morning, and they were going through their workout quietly, listening intently to the news. everyone making sure not to slam their weights down. no one had their headphones on; everyone, for once, out of their iPod cocoons. when i got to my locker after, i checked my phone and there were a whole lot of missed calls and texts. calls from my mum, friends from home, a text from my dad, checking to see that i was okay. i, in turn, started calling friends in London, and friends who have family in London.

i usually end e-mails, or letters, or phone-calls, with "keep in touch!" or "hope to hear from you soon!" and by gosh i finally realise how important this keeping in touch really is. this morning i called up friends i haven't heard from in a long time. friends i haven't contacted in a long time, checking to see if they were okay. making sure they weren't hurt, or injured, or dead. and it was sad, how it takes something like a terrorist attack, to make you realise how (forgive the cliche) fragile life is.

i'd initially planned to head down to my site, around the LIPA area, after my gym session, but i just couldn't wait to get home, send out e-mails to friends i couldn't reach by phone. i've heard from all of them now, and thank God they're all okay. i've had BBC on since i got home, and London looks just eerie - quiet, deserted streets. no traffic, just ambulances, police cars. it's just too sad. London should be celebrating now, what with winning the 2012 Olympic bid, but instead, this.

clothes begone!

remember how i said that the only complaint i had about my new studio apartment is that it didn't have internet access? well last night when i got back i set up my laptop to charge my iPod, and plugged in my WiFi card for the heck of it, and guess what? a wireless network it detected! and so now here i am, with everything i need - TV, DVDs, iPod, bed, computer, internet. and what more, the internet's free! except, well, i must be using someone else's wireless connection in this building, and whoever that person is is paying for it, so that does make me a titch guilty. just a little. not enough to pull the plug just yet.

so my new apartment? loving it! i wrote my mum yesterday about how excited i am about having my own kitchen, and my own living room, and how everything here is mine, and i don't have to share anything. and her reply was "why do you need your own kitchen? you don't even cook!" which is true. i don't cook. or, i do. sometimes. but somehow toasting bread is not really the same as making a roast, or baking a pie from scratch, is it? but anyway, the main point is, everything starting from the main door onwards is mine. which means i can watch TV naked if i wanted to. or cook naked. or do my laundry naked. and nobody would know, or see me, or care! i could even blog naked. not that i am, or would, but then again you wouldn't know, would you?