the tulips are wilting

no, it's not another one of those angst-ridden posts. i actually had a pretty good weekend. rescheduled my presentation for Tuesday, and although there is a lot more to be done, i was assured by D that : [1] the rest of the studio is just as clueless about the Design Thesis as i am, and [2] i can do it, i just have to stop moping. yep. that and some lovely e.mail conversations with some lovely friends, uplifting Friendster testimonial from old high-school roommate and i.m. & phone conversations with a good friend who hardly ever lets me down (except when he makes one of his trademark megalame jokes). anyway, i also realised how often i take my friends for granted. how i always expect them to guess my mood. how i leave them confused and hurt when i act pissy, or cranky, or snippy and they have no idea why. i had a nice good talk with D on Wednesday over dinner, and it was a relief to finally get this huge load of whatever off my chest. met up with her again this afternoon (Sunday) for lunch and had further 'discussions about nothing'. friends are the best therapists, i swear.

anyway, now that that's out of the way...

i've been battling with my biorhythm these past few days. my body is convinced that bedtime is at 6am, despite constant admonishment from my head, insisting (ever so rightly) that bedtime is at 12md latest. so last night (Saturday) i decided at 2:30 to go to bed so that i could get up in time for my 12:00 meeting with D today (Sunday). and i couldn't get to sleep. every position was uncomfortable, and just about every thought whizzed through my head, among which were :
[1] why did JudeLaw and JuliaRoberts break up in Closer ?
[2] my a4 printer is out of ink again. should i order from amazon.co.uk or just get it from Dixon's ?
[3] how much does it suck that i can't get a Region2 copy of The Breakfast Club ?
[4] how many more days of clean underwear do i have ?
[5] i need new shower gel

so i tried counting sheep. except, i remembered that this never did work for me when i was little, so why should it work now ? i decided to solve math problems in my head instead. started small and simple, like 3x2, or 3+5, simple kindy-level stuff. then i progressed to a more advanced (3rd grade) stage : 24x72. 5 multiplication tables later i dozed off. and in that half-asleep stage i had 2 dreams. first, i dreamt that Blogger wanted to discontinue my account because i had abandoned my blog. i went to see Mr.Blogger (who looked v much like BillGates with a beard). he was wearing a red plaid shirt and a cowboy hat. i pleaded with him to let me keep my account, and i promised that i'd update more frequently. then i had a CSI-like dream where i found a ketchup-covered boot at the crime scene of a murder and was handing it in to evidence for tests. GilGrissom (eww) was there and everything. plus we caught the bad guy in the end.

finally fell asleep at 6:00.

well right now it's half-1 and i'm thinking that i'm done playing around with my bio-rhythm. from now on i'll let it have its way. until i head over to Boots and get me some sleeping pills.

now playing : Swiss Army Romance by Dashboard Confessional from their MTV Unplugged album