fluffy-eyed

it seems that i only write in this thing when i'm deadly bored, or unable to sleep, or when i get an "are you still alive?" e-mail. it's way past three in the morning, so i'll leave you to guess which one of those has driven me to the keyboard this time.

you know when you lay tummy-down with your knees bent, feet in the air, with heavy shoes on and your legs go all falling this-way-and-that because of the weight? that's nice.

also, the sight of furry kittens playing with string, or a dead lizard. very cute.

i also like it when the skies are dark grey, and the wind is blowing so hard it makes the trees sway and the windows whistle, and it looks like it's going to pour, but there's just a teensy bit of sun.

Tuesday evening i was walking back from Blockbuster and on my way home i passed a block of flats. it had been a sunny day - this was around 6/7-ish, about half an hour before the sun set. there was a ray of sun that look filtered and isolated somehow, the way rays of sun sometimes look, shining down an angle in between the block of flats and some trees, onto a parking lot. and there were specks of dust dancing away in it. it was a pretty sight, and at that moment i wished i had my camera with me. and also, good enough photography skills to capture it the way i saw it.

my Norton anti-virus program has expired and every 15 minutes or so i get a prompt from my computer reminding me of the fact. it rather annoys me.

my eyes are getting fluffy, which means that i may be getting sleepy. here's hoping i don't oversleep again.

wah-ah-ah-ah-ahndering

i've been thinking, these past few hours, about English words that are made up entirely of consonants. like tryst. i can't think of any more, but it's slowly driving me insane.

i've been bored, these past few days. it's not so much not having anything to do; in fact, there are lots. i've just gotten so good at letting tomorrow take care of itself that i forget that tomorrows turn into todays, and then yesterdays, and then last weeks and months. i'm a self-sabotaging masochist. wait. is that redundant?

i've started doing yoga/pilates. in fact i'll call it yoglates. last night i was getting into position for downward-facing dog when my hands brushed against the carpet and then withdrew from it a clump of hair. i then spent the next 15 minutes plucking hair out of the carpet. when i was done, there were lots of hair in my wastepaper basket. so much that it is an almost-miracle that i am not bald. so i wonder, apart from walking around with a shower cap on, how do i keep my carpet hair-free? because vacuuming doesn't seem to work as effectively as getting on hands and knees and manually plucking hair out, which i don't particularly enjoy doing.

it's August. why is it already getting colder? the temperature's going down, the days are getting gloomier. summer just can't be over yet!

i have decided that my next camera purchase will be a polaroid: cheap, point-and-shoot, instant camera. besides it does have a raw almost Lomo-ish quality that i'm currently in like with. and also my less-than-stellar camera "skills" would be a waste on a bells-and-whistles model. plus, the way to develop photographic skills is to learn about and truly understand the qualities of light and exposure. and honestly, digital just spoils you as far as editing goes. because you can take a really shit photograph, then run it through Photoshop or some other photo-editing software and make it look like it was taken by Man Ray. oh who am i kidding - truth is i can't afford the Pentax istDL that i'm lusting for.

currently (v)

listening to a random radio station, now playing some song i think by Hoobastank.
playing air drums to (what i think is) the Hoobastank song.
reading the Constitution of Malaysia.
thankful for my new (old) TV.
not understanding cricket.
missing driving my car aimlessly around KL.
loving Ani DiFranco. also, the sun.
feeling slightly hungry. and also, a little bit guilty for over-sleeping today.
looking forward to tomorrow, working at Anfield, at the start of a new season.
smelling the head of Sixty, my stuffed dog with the lanky long legs and the bulbous body. he smells of blanket.
liking the words nudnik; cusp; lilt; esoteric.

life has a funny way...

so i realise (again) that it has been a while (again) since my last post (again). all of this week i've been thinking of what to write about... the war in the Middle East? the Women's British Open? all huge topics, worthy of inches and yards of online space. but yet, neither of which have anything at all to do with me, personally. and really, my knowledge of the history behind the conflict in the Middle East is just about as deep as President Bush's, so i'd rather not go there lest i suggest a ridiculous solution to stop this "shit".

the reality is that nothing is going on these days that i haven't already moaned about: i have no money and i'm looking for a job. with the pace at which my life is moving, a bird landing on my windowsill is worth large-print headlines and a three-day forum.

this weekend though, something crashboombang-like did happen. well, relatively crashboombangish. my TV died last night. my widescreen 21-inch TV. it wasn't totally the end of the world, because a spare TV in the store-room that i dug up came to the rescue. but turning it on and finishing The Anniversary Party on a dinky little 15-inch screen was just depressing. and of course, of course, this is nothing compared to living with the fear of having a rocket land on your head at any given moment, or in a land where food is a luxury and TV is just another ambiguous acronym like UN or HIV. but in my land, the scarcity of food and the arbitrariness of mortality is a lot less real than me losing the ability to watch my West Wing DVDs on a screen larger than a stamp. cue my landlord. i have no money. (so in truth, the scarcity of food is starting to get a little more real for me these days) but my landlord, who is probably the greatest landlord i have ever had, has been leaving me roast duck and mangoes at my door throughout the week so my fridge is overflowing with food, and today, some dim sum. when i called to thank him this afternoon, i mentioned the death of my TV and he offered me his set - not widescreen, but much, much larger than a stamp. he'd bought himself a ginormous LCD TV recently and so had an extra set. and so now, i have two TVs sitting in my living room... the dinky one i've kept to watch terrestrial on, because the large one doesn't receive stations all that well.

oh, and today i saw a long, green, grasshopper-like insect crawling on a roll of duct-tape.

and also, a large fly buzzed around in my room for 14 whole minutes!