i'm on to you...

yes, you. the man who watches football because you claim it is a man's sport, and scoffs and smirks and sneers when i gush about Grey's Anatomy or Sex and the City, or Callie Khouri movies... i know what you're really all about. 'cos i've been watching bits and pieces of the World Cup and from what i've seen, all that sweating and running and testosterone-driven spats just cleverly cover the underlying dramatics that go on in and after a match. allow me to present to you, England v Portugal. the match in which Wayne Rooney loses his temper and stomps Carvalho (in the crotch, no less), resulting in a red card and send-off. after the game there was an in-depth "analysis" of the incident (which occured in all of 15 seconds), starting with Rooney's tackle, the stomp, then oh my gosh Christiano Ronaldo comes running up to the referee from the other side of the pitch to complain about what's happened, then after the red card is shown to Rooney, Ronaldo walks away, and is seen to wink!! and oh my gosh what did that wink mean? but that's not it... there's coverage in the papers too... follow-up articles on what next season in Old Trafford is going to be like what with what will surely be upcoming tension between Ronaldo and Rooney in Manchester United, then statements from both players saying no, all is fine, we exchanged texts and everything's okay. not only that, but all the falling and the diving and the clutching-of-the-leg/foot/thigh and the grimaces of pain and the "oh referee i'm injured so bad i can't get up and... oh, you're not looking? okay i'll just try to get up and, oh, look, seems like i can stand up, i'm just going to try to... oh, i'm okay! but hey keep an eye on that guy, he tripped me, could've broken my foot there..." please!! any of these scenarios would fit just fine in a Falcon Crest story arc, so come on you're not fooling anyone. now that's all i have to say on the matter because my current favourite teen lesbian soap is coming on in 2 minutes.