nostalgia

i stumbled upon my old schoolmate's online journal today. the last time i saw Davina was years ago when i was back home for a holiday - we met up for mocha and chocolate-banana cake in a cafe called Memories, which was appropriate since all we talked about was school and old school friends and what they had been up to. half an hour of "what so-and-so's doing now" later all we could talk about was "remember when...?" and since then, we haven't been in touch forever. which is sad because in school we were almost inseperably close. we spent sleep-overs at each other's houses, and shared lunches together (she let me have half of her Indomee and sometimes i let her have half my bak chang). some Saturdays my mum would drive me to her house and we'd play Sonic the Hedgehog on her Sega. that was a real treat because my parents were really selective over my friends (and today my mum calls me a snob becuase i'm so picky over who i hang out with... all her undoing) and my mum liked Davina because she was polite and well-mannered. we were competitive when it came to grades - i hated that she could draw so well and be so good at English. and i got somewhat suspicious when she was excused from two kira-kira congak tests because an ant crawled into her ear (both times). having said that though, i soon developed a paranoia about bugs crawling into my ears and spent many nights sleeping with tape over my ears. Davina's now a pharmacologist somewhere in Australia, which is probably the last thing i imagined she would be... she's a fiesty debater - i always thought she'd be in law, or at least politics.

anyway i don't really know what my point was. i think something about how we change as we grow up; and no matter how many secrets we shared when we were kids, or how many times we've seen each other cry, or how many sticky situations we've gotten ourselves out of together, fast-forward 15 years and reunions become awkwardly silent. and "remember when's" don't count because friends grow up together and shouldn't have to dig up the past for conversation topics.

today i also decided that i like marmaduke. not the dog, just the word. so from now on, instead of saying "that is so cool", i will instead say "that is so marmaduke". or, "i am screwed to the marmaduke" instead of "i am screwed to the bone".

so, i have so much work left to do and a deadline that is getting closer and closer that i am so marmaduked.

fuck.