oh to have a paper bag with which to cover my face up

so i'm sitting here, in the computer lab of the university library, nicely typing away a really long e-mail to a bunch of my friends Down Under, whilst, with my multi-tasking abilities, catching up on my blog-reading, and also checking out the goings-on around the world, when i overhear a conversation from across the aisle:

guy : ...so why don't you come join us, we'll go out, have some drinks, some alcoholic beverages, would that be okay for you?
girl : yeah, can do.

so the busy-body in me is curious, mostly because of the way the guy says alcoholic beverages - like it's sinful - and why would he have to say it like that unless the girl he's trying to convince to come out on what kind of sounds like a cool night out, is a prude? also, the girl spoke in accented English, in an accent that sounded very familiar, with a voice that sounded very familiar. so i turned over to look, and turns out it's my friend (we'll call her Emily, to protect my safety, should she ever Google her name and find this post, and then decide to hunt me down and murder me in my sleep). so i see Emily, sitting in the middle of the row just across the aisle from me. this fills me with dread and fear and quakes in my panties (and not in a good way) because i just know that if she realises that i am in the same room as she, she will come right over and ask me to go for this thing at church this evening, which i am so not keen in going for. at this point you may ask, "What's so wrong with saying 'no'?" to which i would respond "Nothing." because hey i should have the right to not attend something that i don't want to attend but well, she (the prude) would then ask me "Why not?" and i would then have to make something up like "Oh, because i have something on. I'm busy. Haha" because i'm too chicken-shit to say "I'm just not interested." because i know that that would be followed by whisperings and discussions behind my back about 'how i am', or whether or not i need 'encouragement' and 'support', which totally pisses me off because why won't they just leave. me. alone. or at least have the balls to ask me to my face if i need 'encouragement' and 'support', when i will then say to them "No." and ask them politely to get lost.

it's not that i have anything against God, or church, or religion. in fact, i have no problems with God. not right now, anyway. it's just this group of people who create labels and distinctions and judgement about how people should live their lives, and god forbid if you spend an entire night out drinking and fornicating, you heathen, you are most definitely destined for the fiery bowels of hell. except they never say it to my face. all i'd hear would be a gasp or two, and a "Oh, haha, you're crazy." *chuckle* or "Oh, haha, you are such an alcoholic." *chuckle* which totally pisses me off because it makes me feel like a heathen who is most definitely destined for the fiery bowels of hell. and it makes me mould myself into this person who frowns on things that i'd normally be doing, because i'd like to avoid those gasps and uneasy chuckles. and i don't like that me one bit, because it feels completely fake and hypocritical. which is a quality i totally despise.

so that is why, instead of walking over and saying "Hi, how are you doing? Haven't seen you in a long while." like what i normally would do when i see a friend that i haven't seen in a while, i am, sliding down as far as i can go, shielding my face with the computer screen, turning away from the aisle so that i'm almost entirely facing the wall, and the guy next to me thinks i'm trying to check out what site he's surfing on to, and hoping, praying, wishing to God that she wouldn't see me. and stuffing my earbuds into my ears, although my iPod isn't even on, so if she does see me, i can pretend to be immersed in my music and pretend that i didn't hear her, and act really surprised to see her.

oh, and also, typing this post just to kill time until she leaves, which is when i will leave. not before.

which is sad, cos i'd like to not have to hide from my friends, because, apart from the Bible-pushing, Emily does have some nice qualities. like... well... she's always jolly and laughing. and... yeah. well i'm sure there are other things too.

well she seems to be immersed in her work now, and speaking to some guy, who's blocking her view of me, so if i just... move really really quick, i may just be able to get away. cos i've been sitting here like this for an hour and a half, and i think my butt is now paralyzed.