it's getting harder to keep passing the open windows

she walks.
it's the same road, but everything is different.
it's dark.
the leaves on the ground are so wet they look like mulch.
it's still raining though.
if her life were a movie, this would be the scene where the lead character stands alone in the rain - the rain representing the tumult going on in his / her life.
or some other metaphorical shit like that.

she walks.
quicker now.
"it's today's cardio." she laughs.
but not quite.
the quicker her steps, the farther she moves from it all.
but not quite.
because it's all inside - she takes it with her.

she walks.
quicker still.
her breath quickens.
her heart beats harder.
her breath quickens.
and quickens.
until she's gasping.
no - sobbing.

please bleed - so i know that you are real.
tonight, it seems, she's bleeding all over the place.

it's still raining.
the water streams down her face.
she knows it isn't all rain.

she walks.
her steps slow - her legs are aching.
from the strain, from the wind, from the cold.
the wind blows her face dry.
when she's home, it's as if the walk never was.